Diocese of Toledo, Ohio

Browsing From the Pastor

Comfort the Sorrowful

   During this current Jubilee Year of Celebrating the Lord’s Mercy, our Diocese is directing us to focus our attention on the Spiritual Works of Mercy. Based upon the First Reading and the Gospel for this weekend’s Masses, our attention is directed to that of Comforting the Sorrowful.

   In the face of death, we feel helpless. We feel pain and sorrow with and for a friend who has lost a loved one. Many of us have a “fix it” mentality. We want to say and/or do that which would relieve or take away the pain of a person who has lost a loved one, but in our own minds, we come up short.

   Something that we can easily overlook is the value of offering our presence for someone who has lost a loved one. As I was growing up, I recall the first time that I visited on my own at a funeral home a teacher whose wife had died. When I came up to this teacher to express my sympathy, I was at a loss at what to say. I simply shook the hand of this teacher and gazed at him. As one who normally has something to say in different situations in which I find myself, I felt very inadequate on this occasion.  

   Not long after the funeral, I received a kind note from this teacher in which he expressed his gratitude for my presence to him at the funeral home. This experience helped me to appreciate the importance of offering my presence to persons when they lose a loved one. There is nothing that we can say or do to change the situation. Our presence expresses in a concrete way how one member of the Body of Christ can come to the support of another member who is suffering. 

   Hopefully, our caring presence for a friend who has lost a loved one does not end with a visit to the funeral home or our attendance at the funeral service. We can extend our caring presence for a friend who has lost a loved one by making a commitment to pray for this person and her/his family for a specific period of time. For example, for each of the 30 days following the death of a loved one of a friend, we might resolve to offer to pray  a decade of the Rosary for our friend and his/her family.

   Prayer can provide us with the wisdom and the on-going motivation to extend our caring presence to the family of the one who has died in ways that are most beneficial for those who are mourning. Oftentimes, it is after the funeral home visitation and the funeral services are over that the pain of the loss of the loved one sets in and intensifies. Here is where our continuing presence can be a powerful source of strength for the ones who are hurting. Even though our presence cannot change the situation, the Lord would work through our being there for the ones who are mourning to enable them to live in a proactive manner.

   Through prayer, we can receive insight in regard to specific ways in which we might offer our presence to persons who are in mourning. Perhaps, prayer might lead us to share our presence in ways such as the following: visiting the one(s) who have lost a loved one, inviting them into our home, inviting them to accompany us to an activity that we sense they would enjoy, by sending them a note, a text or an e-mail from time to time.  

   On the basis of prayer, may we grow in the ability to be there for one another in times of loss as the Lord wants this to happen. The Lord would work to extend His healing strength to persons who have lost a loved one through our caring presence far more than we can envision or imagine.  

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Fr. Nelson Beaver – Pastor

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